My husband and I are expecting a baby and planning to get married. We’ve been together for years and we’ve agreed on our financial decisions, but we need guidance now that things are getting…real. We have always split our expenses in the middle and settled the bills at the end of the month. We discuss big purchases together and share a credit card, but we’ve never had to merge accounts or investments in the past. We both earn roughly the same amount each year and have healthy savings, retirement and investments with plenty left over for the new expenses we will surely encounter with a new family member.

How to prepare for a baby on the way? Do we need to start thinking about 529s and FSAs for dependents? Not to mention our tax returns and whether we should file together or separately. Do you have any resources or tips we can use to guide these investing and budgeting decisions for a new baby as well as what we should be considering – slash – discussing in terms of finances at the wedding? We’ll probably keep the same system we’re using now (instead of merging all of our accounts), but it would be helpful to understand some common financial goals we could work toward. For example, I don’t even know if married couples can or should split IRAs! How much should we put in 529 accounts?

There’s a lot going on at the same time, but we’re really excited about all the changes and want to make sure we’re doing it right.

Congratulations! Your ability to plan for your growing family, financially and otherwise, is great for your baby from the start. Research has shown that children raised in economically secure households tend to have better cognitive functions, fewer behavior problemsand better reading skills among a host of other benefits. I wish everyone could have the choice to prepare for parenthood like you and your partner do.

Which brings me to my first point: you’re already doing the most important things. You pay your bills on time, save and invest for your future, and work with your partner to create a thoughtful and fair system for your household spending – it’s the trifecta of good financial practice. Model these habits and talk about them openly help your child learn and imitate these skills as they age too. And the fact that your child won’t have to worry about supporting you one day is no small gift either – it’s true that taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do for your children. (and your spouse).

But your logistical questions are also smart. Let’s start with your next wedding. It looks like your current bill splitting system is working well, and I agree there is no need for a major overhaul. (For what it’s worth, my husband and I still keep most of our accounts separate, and we’ve been married for six years.) You shouldn’t and can’t combine your retirement accounts (IRA is an acronym for “retirement individual account”), and there would be no benefit to doing so anyway – you should each try to max out your respective accounts if you can afford it.

It’s worth talking to a professional about whether to file taxes together or separately. “Find a tax preparer and have them process the numbers back and forth,” says Stephanie Genkin, a certified financial planner based in Brooklyn, New York. “Any good tax preparer should be able to tell you whether or not to file together in ten minutes or less.” In most cases filing together will save you money, but in a few cases it won’t. (For example, if either of you were on an income-based repayment plan for a loan, depositing together would increase your income level and your monthly bills would increase.)

Another great reason to pay for a tax preparer next year is that once your baby arrives, there’s child tax credits to which you may be entitled. A professional will guide you through the process and ensure that you enjoy it.

In terms of creating common goals: it sounds like you and your partner are already geared towards saving money. Your next step is to start talking about what you want to record for. It will be an evolving and nebulous subject that you will discuss for the rest of your life, so there is no need to rush or make any decisions. Your top priority right now is just to feel comfortable having these conversations on a regular basis. I recommend setting aside a time — once or twice a month, or maybe even more often in the beginning — to talk about what’s working, what’s not, and the expenses you’re facing. Your budget is about to go through some wild changes with a new baby, so it’s a good idea to create some structure around your communication now. The goal isn’t to avoid disagreements (trust me, you’ll argue) but rather to have a system in place so you don’t have a 2am whisper about whether or not to buy d a Snoo.

My own baby just turned 9 months, and I can tell you that it has been both more expensive than I thought and cheaper than I feared. The delivery itself can cost thousands of dollars, even with good insurance (my bill was just over $5,000 in total for a relatively uneventful delivery in a no-frills hospital). Diapers are expensive. The formula too. And I urge anyone who says breastfeeding is “free” to (a) try to breastfeed my son and (b) count the costs of a breast pump, lactation consultants, hot and cold compresses , nipple ointment and various oddly shaped pillows and the bolsters I needed to make the parties involved more comfortable (not to mention worth my time).

My goal is not to scare you or tell you to go buy all these things. On the contrary, it is impossible to know in advance exactly what your baby will need (apart from The basics), so you’ll want to leave plenty of wiggle room in your budget and be prepared to order random things online in the middle of the night. If you can find another parent with an older child who was born around the same time of year as your due date, they’ll have seasonally appropriate clothes that will suit your baby (and they’ll probably be grateful to to get rid of ). I relied heavily on used clothes and joined a local parents’ group specifically to buy second-hand things.

One thing you can’t really skimp on is childcare, so you and your partner should start discussing it as soon as possible. “You want to be on the same page about when you’ll need it and how much it’s going to cost,” says Genkin. “Some people just assume their partner wants what they want, but that may not be the case. Research the options in your area and what the going rates are. I’ll add that it helps to talk too to your neighbours. We share a nanny with another family in our building, which is convenient and also more affordable than child care options near our home. You can find the opposite, of course, but what to remember , is that crowdsourcing information from other parents is helpful.

You will also want to understand the family leave policies of your respective employers. Depending on what they are, it may make more sense for you and your partner to stagger the holidays; I know many couples who split their parental leave (usually with the birth partner staying home first) so they can delay the need for childcare, save money, and spend more time with their new baby. .

A dependent FSA, which lets you spend pre-tax dollars on child care expenses like preschool, a nanny, and even summer camp, is also a great idea. You can search for eligible costs and calculate how to register here. (Note that you will need to keep records of your eligible expenses in order to submit them. This is another good thing to discuss with a tax preparer.)

I also recommend setting up a 529 plan for your child, which you can do as soon as they have a social security number. A 529 plan is basically like a 401(k) but for your child’s future education costs instead of retirement – any money you contribute to it is tax deductible, and it also grows tax free, so the sooner you start funding it, the better. “However, it’s important not to overfund this account,” says Blain Pearson, professor of personal financial planning at Kansas State University. There is no limit to the amount you can contribute annually, but in most states, you can’t deduct more than $5,000 a year from your taxes (or $10,000, as a married couple filing jointly), so there’s not much benefit to contributing more than that. And if your child doesn’t need all the money for school (say they don’t go to college or get a full scholarship), you’ll be hit with a penalty. additional tax when you take the money for another use.

Another tip: “Get term life insurance can be worth it if you have a young child,” says Genkin. (Term life insurance is a type of policy with a specified end date — say, 20 years in the future — and the death benefit will only be paid if the policyholder dies during the chosen term.) C It’s usually much cheaper than whole life insurance, and it’s designed for people whose families would be really short of resources if something happened to them.

I also want to make it clear that you don’t have to rush to do all of this right away. The fact that you are even asking these questions means that you are already on the right track. And remember: you won’t do everything right, and that’s fine. You’ll be wasting money on things your baby doesn’t really need or want. You will sometimes blow your budget and order stupid things online when you are tired and desperate. I understand your desire to plan, and I admire it and relate to it, but there will be times when all that preparation flies out the window, and you should be ready for that too.